Cesarean births are hard to attend. I always feel very disappointed if I work with a couple for weeks or sometimes even months to prepare for the birth they want. Which is a natural birth. Baby coming out of the vagina, relatively easy, maybe with the help of some pain medication maybe not. Straight on the chest into moms arms.

So when my clients end up with a cesarean birth that wasn’t necessarily planned, I feel their sadness, but I also want them to remember that there still is a lot they can ask for.

How to prepare

Let’s say your baby must be born via cesarean because no medical provider offers a vaginal birth if your baby is breech or you have placenta previa – a potentially life threatening condition where your baby may not survive a vaginal birth. What are your options? First I would recommend finding out what a gentle or family centered cesarean is. Birth Boot Camp has a fabulous explanation on their website. Another option is watching videos on Youtube and finding out what is important to you? In some areas child birth educators even have specific classes for cesarean birth preparation only. Yes, you can still have immediate skin to skin, yes you can have delayed cord clamping – not as long as with a vaginal birth – and yes Mom can even breastfeed in the operating room if she desires.

And guess what? Our local hospital here in Monterey CHOMP is happy to accommodate you if you want a birth photographer in the operation room with you. How cool is that? Just in case you miss something the photographer may capture the moment anyway! Another hospital in Salinas – Natividad Medical Center – can now provide a clear drape if that’s on your wish list. You can also have a doula attend your birth along with your partner.

Finally

I recommend to my clients to make a birth preference plan just like most of them do for a vaginal birth and talk to their provider what is important to them, what are their options. Find out how my personal cesarean birth plan looked like by contacting me directly! So you may have to talk to several providers on your birth team to get the full picture. The obstetrician, the anesthesiologist and the pediatrician.

When the day comes remind them about your plans again. Doctors and nurses are human and they can only remember so much! Once you and your partner are settled in, remember these moments (selfies are appropriate) and trust the team you choose to make it the best experience possible.

Even with an unplanned cesarean – where labor starts naturally – but for one reason or another your doctor advises you a surgical birth is the best route to go you can still ask for it to be as gentle as possible. It is very rare that one has to a have cesarean under general anesthesia.

Whilst in the operating room I am mainly an observer. Most women do want their partner right be their side and only if they and baby leave, I step in to support her physically and emotionally. She just birthed A BABY!

Lastly I want you to remember that cesarean births are not failures. One can not fail at birth. I have seen my fair share of couples going through the process, holding hands, maybe even crying when they see their baby for the first time, the same emotions a couple going through a vaginal birth has.